rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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