one two three fourrrrnication!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
