Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
