Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The Olympian is in my bed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
