I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
