Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i barfeds in our rink
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize