We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
