This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
