filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
