Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
