Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize