I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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