Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
