The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize