She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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