Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
