youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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