While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
