So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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