hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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