do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
