we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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