and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
