Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
