Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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