i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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