my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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