It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can I color on your dick again?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
