me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
