You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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