hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
