yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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