he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
