i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
