I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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