I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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