windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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