i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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