Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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