Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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