I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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