I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's the barista slut.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize
