I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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