well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
