coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
