I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
