So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
