god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
