Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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