homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
