Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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