we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
