Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
