i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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