dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
50% drunk capacity currently
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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