I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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