i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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