idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
