In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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