dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
