she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
