i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
